Question: Is this album cover going to give me nightmares? Answer: probably. The back cover is adorable though! Look at all those awesome sneakers.
The first song, “Among the Living,” starts like a regular “heavy metal” song but then gets REALLY FAST! OMG how? How is it so fast?? Hold on, I have to listen to the lyrics. Okay, yes, they’re saying “murder” over and over again, next is “hatred.” AHHH!!!!! I’m so scared!!! Also, a little excited. Here comes a crazy guitar solo, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster, my heart is beating faster. I can see the urge to “head bang,” if you will, or jump into a crowd and start punching, but I’m really enjoying listening to this while sitting still on the couch in my living room, it makes you feel energetic on the inside, without the fear of getting punched in the boob.
Okay, the next song is called “caught in a mosh," exactly what I was just talking about, right? And it might be even faster than the first song- how is that even possible? I like though, how they’ll sort of be like dude chanting lyrics but then suddenly break into actual good singing, it’s kind of sweet. So is this, "speed metal?" because I can’t think of anything else to possibly call it.
Look you guys, I’m really liking it. It’s oddly beautiful, but I feel like it’s really hard for girls to get to know this kind of music. I would NEVER want to see this band live, even though I’m really liking the music. It would be too violent and too dangerous, and that sucks. And yet I’m not blaming the people who feel the need to get “caught in a mosh,” upon hearing this. It’s probably exhilarating, but sitting on the couch listening to it is fun in a totally different way. Why does music have to be such a division of the sexes sometimes?
It does feel a little busy sometimes though, like there are a million things going on at once and way more than 5 people in the band, also, why is the guitar solo in “I Am The Law" reminding me of Mozart playing one of those little pianos?
HOLD ON. Alex just started singing along and saying something that sounded like “evil, N-word, fassen.” Me: “What are you saying??” Alex: “Efilnikufesin.” Me: Very confused stare. Alex: it’s “nice fucking life spelled backwards, N.F.L” and then he jumped off the couch and started dancing uncontrollably.
Pronouncing words backwards used to be one of my favorite things to do, just ask my cousin Judy who I still call Yduj, but I’m not sure if it works in speed metal, although it does give it that Satanic feel, like they’re speaking a language that is possessed by the devil. Backwards English words are very demonic sounding, and it does seem like part of the point of this band is trying to scare people. Just look at the front cover and that “Anthrax” font! But then look at the back cover! Dan Spitz is NOT scary! He’s just not. And he’s asking us all to cry for the Indians, I mean, that’s sensitive.
Alright, I know I said I liked this, and I do, if anything it’s fascinating, but I think I reached my limit by the end of side one, all the songs are starting to sound the same to me.
Wait a minute, is "A.D.I./Horror Of It All" going to be a slow song? Something different is going on here.It has a very long musical introduction and while it’s still very fast, it’s not quite going a million miles per hour like the previous songs, it sounds like more typical heavy metal. Although, what the hell do I mean when I say that? I don’t know, Metallica? Also, doesn’t Metallica have a similar font to Anthrax when they spell their band name? Did Anthrax come first? Oh, the end of the song is kind of crazy with lots of pretty awesome drums and guitar soloing. Yeah, it’s pretty cool, it definitely has a grande finale feel to it. I can see myself getting the phrase “the horror of it all” stuck in my head while I’m in the shower tomorrow and not really remembering where it came from. In a weird way, this could be good getting ready for work music. Going with the grande finale feel, this should have been the last song, “Imitation of Life" didn’t do anything for me.
Bottom line: I’m really glad I sat and listened to this album all the way through, like really listened to it and thought about how it was making me feel. But, I’m going to have to be in a very specific mood the next time I go to put it on, and I have absolutely no idea what that mood is going to feel like, but hopefully, when it happens, I’ll reach for “Among the Living” and it’ll just feel right.
Alex Says: I really thought this was going to be the one where Sarah said “I have nothing good to say about this album. It’s garbage.” This review is a testament to how open minded she is being about this project. This album just screams (literally) “I AM FOR DUDES.” I mean, the cover has the guy from Poltergeist 2, It’s basically nonstop thrash from start to finish, and there are songs about Stephen King novels and Judge Dredd. If my 13-year-old self were forced at gunpoint to write an album, it’d probably have similar themes.
My thrash metal phase was pretty brief and shallow, but I always liked Anthrax the best. They were goofballs. While Metallica was writing songs based on Hemingway novels, Anthrax wrote songs about John Belushi. And, I mean, they toured with Public Enemy. Their music may be a little repetitive at times. but they are definitely my favorite in terms of spirit.